Do Not Run
by bookdiva
Summary: This story is in Deeks's POV. The first chapter is The Frozen Lake, and it will continue for each episode until Kensi's return. Basically, it's how he deals with her absence, the team, Hetty, etc. all while trying to take Thappa's advice to walk. Hence the title, Do Not Run! Please Read and Review!


_**AN: So, I just watched the promo… I'm severely dissatisfied. While I'm so glad we'll get some Kensi, I was… slightly angered that Deeks was literally only in one shot. I just hope they give him more screen time in the show! I want to see how he deals with all the members of the team! **_

_**Anywho, this will be as in-canon as possible. I'll update after each episode until Kensi comes home! Enjoy!**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

"Oh, _c'mon_! I break every traffic law on the planet, and she already left?" I asked, jogging into the mission to find it empty.

"Your partner's been reassigned, Mr. Deeks." Hetty's voice came out of nowhere.

"What do you mean? What do you mean, _reassigned_?" I asked, feeling the familiar panic work its way through my body.

"A classified mission."

"A classified mission for how long?" I forced the question past the lump in my throat, grasping for any solid information.

"Indefinitely."

I looked away from Hetty, and a humorless laugh escaped my lips. "Indefinitely?"

"Mmmhmmm…" Hetty said vaguely, nodding sagely.

Another laugh choked past my lips, and I looked down at Hetty, waiting for the punch line to this un-funny joke. It never came, and it took all of three seconds for me to realize this wasn't a joke.

I looked down at the knife she'd given me.

_"My partner doesn't go unarmed."_

_"I've never had a girl give me her knife before. Does this mean we're… official?"_

_"Well, sometimes a knife is just a knife." _

And now, it was all I had left.

"That… looks familiar." Hetty's non-question snapped me out of my memory.

"It was her dad's," I answered, still too in shock to be angry yet.

"Well, that is quite a gift."

_Sometimes a knife is just a knife. _

"Yeah," I forced myself to look up at Hetty, masking what I could. "Well, sometimes a knife is just a knife."

Hetty tilted her head to the side in the way she does when she goes all 'wise-owl' on us.

"And now she's entrusted it to you."

"Anything else I should know, Hetty?" I asked, feeling my expression tighten in place.

She turned around and stood by her desk like a tiny soldier.

"Button up, Mr. Deeks. It's cold out there."

_She's gone. It's real. This is happening. _

Hetty turned and walked away, and suddenly, a crushing loneliness settled on my shoulders.

I let out a breath and felt the weight settle upon my heart. It would be there, I knew, until I saw Kensi again. Safe. Unharmed. Back with me.

"It's cold in here, too," I muttered to the dark, empty mission. Tucking the knife in my breast pocket, I didn't bother dropping the suit off in wardrobe. I didn't even bother with removing the blood-stained jacket. I just walked out of the mission. Alone.

* * *

I drove to my apartment in a daze, and was inside before I really knew what I was doing. Thankfully, it was dark, otherwise I would have certainly frightened my neighbors. I stripped off the suit and slipped on my t-shirt.

It was laying on the floor. Right where she'd left it this morning. Her sent still lingered on the fabric.

_Sunshine and gunpowder. _

I allowed Monty to lay at my feet as I crawled into the left side of the bed. I hugged the right side pillow to my chest and looked over at the clock.

_11:53_

I couldn't help but let my mind wander, as I breathed in the memories of her in this room. My mind finally landed on Thappa's words in the ambulance.

_"Do not run. Walk slowly. Stop to look at everything. Take your time. She will wait for you." _

Those words would have to be my mantra. Starting tomorrow. But tonight… tonight I would grieve. I would be sad for the delay of our thing. I would let it out.

I had no illusions—work would never be the same without her. But I could be professional. I could do that, because every day I worked was a day closer to getting her back.

But as the night wore on, and her sent on the pillow faded, the task seemed bleaker and bleaker.

_3:09_

_I can't do this anymore. _

I got up, grabbed Monty's leash, my go bag, and Monty's go bag, and headed out the door. There was next to no traffic, so ten minutes later I was pulling up outside Kensi's apartment.

I walked up to her door, easily picked the lock, and opened the door.

"Seriously, Kens," I said as Monty and I walked inside. "This place looks like a tornado let loose… or maybe a nuclear bomb went off…." I looked down at the knife and grimaced. "Right, okay, so maybe it's too soon for nuke jokes," I smirked and then looked around at the empty apartment. "Aaaaand now I'm talking to myself… or a knife… or a dog… I'm not sure which is the worst. Okay, I'm stopping now."

Monty cocked his head at me. Then he looked around the apartment as if to ask, '_Where's Kensi?'_

"Yeah, I miss her too, bud," I said, leaning down and scratching his ears. "But we'll wait right here for her, huh?"

Monty just wagged his tail and made a b-line for Kensi's bedroom. I hesitated for a moment.

_Am I allowed to…_

But I shook off the thought as soon as it entered my mind. After lsat night, those kinds of lines were pointless.

So I followed my dog and laid down on the left side of her bed. Her sent had saturated every part of this room, and I knew it wouldn't be wearing off anytime soon. I set my alarm for work in the morning and then looked over at the clock on her bedside table.

_4:13_

Again, Thappa's words flashed through my mind.

_"Do not run. Walk slowly. Stop to look at everything. Take your time. She will wait for you." _

_Tomorrow, _I thought, as exhaustion finally began to overwhelm me, _I start walking._

* * *

**_Let me know what you think! :D_**


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